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Thursday, March 16th, 2006

Subject:wow guys wow!!
Time:2:16 pm.
Mood: anxious.
so yes its been like 2 months since ive done this so why not now..

San diego is chill but not all its cracked out to be.. i met a lot of people i could just be friends with forever.. like eddy, and jaime, and german, and so on. well yeah..

I might be going to AI in san bernardino dude to distractions and also due to money issues im not sure yet..

but I got tickets to see flogging molly and so i think im going.. and i might see anti-flag on monday.. which would be very cool. Mybro moved out my moms house and lives in murrietta.. cool i guess.

so i was looking over some of my entries from a couple years back.. wow didnt notice how many people hurt me till now which so fucking great to find out. well

ooh i went to a tittie bar in tj with my friend bruce and his friend jim. that so funny. bruce is so hot.. god damn.. i mean woah haha. but then like i was alone most of it so they could go and get lap dances and then do all this shit around the bar.. which is cool i still got to like chill with them...

Marys birthday was sunday shes 20 now.. yaya me and her only one more year. and ill be taking ehr to bars.. fuck yeah.. well im gonna go .. dont know what else to inform you on.. so peace out

Friday, January 20th, 2006

Time:3:28 am.
why are they so hot.. and why can i listen to them forever and never get bored.. is it because i am reallly into that seen.. or becuse I really like greasers?
hehe.. i almost lost it but i said no.. in soon time in soon time..

Tuesday, December 6th, 2005

Subject:I like the way you move...
Time:11:23 pm.
Mood: curious.
I love that moment when your just holding each other in the cold, and warming eaach other with freaking body heat.. i love cuddling. it just makes me want to capture the moment and keep it in a box forever. and open it everytime i feel down.

I had a great time... and hopefully it will happen again soon..
Im a sucker when im cold and lonely..

Thursday, December 1st, 2005

Subject:party at ground zero
Time:1:53 pm.
9 more day till im one year older people... college i going good kids.. everyone should go.. hahaha... I want this shit to work out.. i havent updated ina long time oh well
[2]fuck | ...you

Sunday, September 25th, 2005

Subject:i want to keep him in a box
Time:9:56 pm.
Mood: depressed.
okey so all i wanted to do last night at my going away party was hug him.. but  know hes dating someone.. and when we were in the house and he trapped on the couch... belive me .. i would have loved to do something but still i couldnt cus hes dating someone... when he was standing outside the bathroom waiting for me.. i would have yes loved to hugged him and not let go.. but no hes dating someone... that someone is far more beautiful,, skinnier, and marveulous then me. and i will never be in his standards... i would do anything to make him happy... and the good bye was the most harshest thing.. because there wasnt a good bye.. it was i gotta get my keys.. and then hes in the car when im outside...  god damnit why cant i be with him... belive me if it was a crush it wouldnt be in my head.. or heart.. or giving me stomache aches.. or causing me not to sleep.. or anything this is more.. and i hate when people say its a crush.. cus belive me its not.. that one time we had  anything affectionate.. was the best.. laying on his lap with his arm on me which warmed my whole body while watching the daily show was memorable.. and believe me.. i wish there was more of it... SO MUCH MORE>>>. why cant i tell him!!!!!!!!1... ahhh someone shoot me and put me out of this misery

Monday, August 29th, 2005

Subject:missed me missed me
Time:12:50 pm.

..CATCH THISCollapse )

[7]fuck | ...you

Subject:damnit feels good to be a gangsta
Time:12:50 pm.
so i got pierced today god finally. ive bee waiting to get this piercing for forever just been slacking on it. thanks to marcus for doing it . hes the awesomest piercer around yo.. every piercing i get is gonna be done by him... so its my collar bones well beneath them pictures up soon.. boo yah.. i have to pee..
[1]fuck | ...you

Thursday, August 25th, 2005

Time:12:39 pm.
Mood: morose.
so yes larae does drugs.. boo hoo.. hahahha.. ozzfest was great well i wish we wouldve went in the pit or something buthey next year going all out ... for shizzle.. hahah so jesse me ryan and mike went... was looking for katie but as everyone should know i didnt... which i was sad about but i was still with someone there that i wanted to be with.. i was burnt to hell though... which is ok.... anywho.. cant wait for dustins going away party. drinking.. smoking.. mmmm.. yay....peace out.. hey bryan when we going to hookah?

Friday, July 1st, 2005

Time:12:56 pm.
First, name 20 people you know. (randomly, in no particular order)

1. heather
2. ryan
3. jesse
4. sam
5. lisa
6. jennifer
7. mary
8. david
9. joe
10. jack
11. mary(
12. chris
13. jason
14. issabelle
15. erik
16. brandon
17. anya
18. Danielle
19. dustin
20. marcus

Then, fill this out according to the people you chose!!

Who is 8 going out with?: mary

Is 9 a boy or a girl?: Boy

Would 11 and 2 make a cute couple?: no

How about 18 and 4?: no

What grade is 17 in?: out of school

When was the last time you talked to 12?: today

What is 6's favorite band?: murderdolls

Does 1 have any siblings?: yea

Would you ever date 3?: yes very much so

Would you ever date 7?: no

Is 15 single?: yes

What's 16's last name?: v something

What's 5's middle name?: no clue

What's 10's fantasy?: no clue

Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?: no

Tell me a random fact about 13 ?: hes black

And 1?: almost best friend

Have you ever had a crush on 16?: maybe

Where does 9 live?: in my house

What's 4's favorite color?: black&green

Would you makeout with 14?: no

How did you meet 15?: 4th july last year

20 older than you?: yes
[1]fuck | ...you

Tuesday, June 21st, 2005

Time:1:41 am.
so i ama graduate and i am glad schools over with

im leaving come september.. San Diego here i come.. and im going to have a going away party for those who care but you wont show up
[1]fuck | ...you

Tuesday, June 7th, 2005

Time:12:11 am.
does anyone know why i cant but keep liking guys that i cant have.... its like being at a candy store and you dont have enough money for a kit kat.. or going to the grocery store looking for dr pepper but its not there.. why why why do i have to always let myself like people.. im too freaked out to say anything so why?

i heard somes tuff today that i dont know if its true or not.. which is weird if it is cus guys dont say that but i dont know..

and tomorrow i have off because i couldnt start at 1 and so he gave me the day off.. not freakin cool. i only one day off ok.. one day... jeese...
hope i can find a way to drink myself to sleep soon.. cus joe even told me to go for a drive .. to just get a full tank of gas drive till your half empty then drive back so i can think about stuff and get it off my mind not have to worry about anything tilli get back.. which is cool that he said that.. cus he is starting to realize again that i am all up for anything to hang out to get away from people.. to see him and how his friends arent all dramatic and actually arent afraid to go and destroy and do pointless things.. i desperatly need to get a man and have love inmy life.. desperately..

san diego so soon... thank god.. not seeing people eh but illstill see them.. edding .. not looking forward to at all.. someone help me!!!
[1]fuck | ...you

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005

Subject:what its all about
Time:12:09 am.
why cant he like me.. why do i have to like him .. why is he always on my mind... why is it everytime i drive by his house i want to walk in his house and still him.. why doesnt he even like me damnit.. i hate that feeling...

water balloon launching with my bro... FUUUUUNNNN.. being home alone alll the time .... depressssiiing... going to work .... worth while....
still being lonely .... story of my life..

Sunday, May 15th, 2005

Subject:my eye itches
Time:11:35 pm.
my hand is numb..
everyone im a dissappoitnment. im 18 and still never had real love..and i still hate myself.. and i still cant get over the fact of peoples stupid ways..

im suposed to be in san diego in sept.. so for most of the people that know me your prob gonna stop knowing me and get better aquainted with those you hang with everyday and leave me out thats ok.. ill stay friends with you even though you wont with me...

joes moving back.. hopefully things will get better here with him here..

i did something stupid but i dont reret it.. it felt good and im glad i know how to hide it..

im tense.. ive been wanting to beat the living shit out of people for like a month.. this is why i need a punching bag.. i can practice and take anger out..

well so little time before schools over .. wee... prom pics up soon
[1]fuck | ...you

Sunday, April 17th, 2005

Subject:i could be your heart
Time:9:48 pm.
Mood: frustrated.

okey all i have to say AMITYVILLE fucking owns. It was super good.

ryan reynolds was fucking awesome.. and looked awesome super and hot in it.

beautyshop is also good.. pretty fucking funny..
guess who also...
im not going to school wednesday cus i dont want to be blamed gain for another threat.. thank you canyon, you fucking piece of shits.. holler

[1]fuck | ...you

Thursday, March 31st, 2005

Subject:Im updating ahhh
Time:9:06 pm.
Mood: sick.
ahh so my low down or whatever

*schoool sucks everyone knows that.

*im so fucking sick right now... eww..

*i love juice it up

*prom i guess me sam, mary, daved, jessica, jennifer, and nikki, hopefully tyler is going

*still trying to find a job

*i need a boyfriend now.. someone who likes me and doesnt want me to be something else. god im so lonely..

* starting pilattes on monday

*need a boyfriend STIll

*end of the year tripp for us is probably going to be camping.. YAY

* Im lonely i need a boyfriend..

*need to loose weight..


Wednesday, March 9th, 2005

Subject:Yep thats right
Time:12:31 pm.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

YOu likey?
[6]fuck | ...you

Sunday, March 6th, 2005

Subject:i call it selfexplanatory
Time:10:59 pm.
Birthday:december 9 86
Birthplace:santa ana .. OC
Current Location:moreno valley for the past 18 years
Eye Color:brown
Hair Color:natural blonde.. dyed now
Right Handed or Left Handed:right
Your Heritage:german, cherokee, irish, chzech, and so much more
The Shoes You Wore Today:black on black converse
Your Weakness:rejection.. or pity
Your Fears:tornados..
Your Perfect Pizza:bbq sauce with soft dough topped with onions and chicken
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Get out of mo val
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:dude`
Thoughts First Waking Up:go back to sleep
Your Best Physical Feature:nothing
Your Bedtime:when i can fall asleep
Your Most Missed Memory:being skinny and having no worries.. being able to talk about anything
Pepsi or Coke:dr pepper
MacDonalds or Burger King:burger king
Single or Group Dates:both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:dr pepper
Chocolate or Vanilla:eww
Cappuccino or Coffee:both
Do you Smoke:yes
Do you Swear:fuck yeah
Do you Sing:hmm yes
Do you Shower Daily:no
Have you Been in Love:no
Do you want to go to College:yes
Do you want to get Married:yes
Do you belive in yourself:no
Do you get Motion Sickness:sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive:no
Are you a Health Freak:sometimes
Do you get along with your Parents:sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes
Do you play an Instrument:yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:no
In the past month have you Smoked:ciggs yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:no
In the past month have you been on Stage:no
In the past month have you been Dumped:no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:yes
Ever been Drunk:no
Ever been called a Tease:yes
Ever been Beaten up:maybe
Ever Shoplifted:yes(felt like a jerk after)
How do you want to Die:dont care
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:not you
What country would you most like to Visit:australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:blue or green
Favourite Hair Color:dyed any
Short or Long Hair:depends
Height:little taller then 5'8
Best Clothing Style:rockabilly(greaser) psycho(billy) or punk or goth
Number of Drugs I have taken:3
Number of CDs I own:too many
Number of Piercings:2
Number of Tattoos:none yet
Number of things in my Past I Regret:98273598370673467347698640476879672093093


Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005

Subject:watch out!!!!
Time:9:13 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
oh no here comes LaRae... i can use a break from everyone Ok.. i wish i had a get away place.... like you care.. anywho yesterday sucked.. i cried in most of my classes.. which is unusual for me.. but then again who cares... ben came over because the mac i was on wasnt working and he asked if i was ok,and like i just felt like dieing right there.. you know theres some things i cant deal with and i just am sick of it.. im not a dog people.. you cant just want my attention but then yell at me and tell me to go away !!!.. it doesnt work that way..so whoever sees this if i dont talk to you much get over it.. i dont feel like being loud and then trying to make you happy anymore.. Ill be going to college in october.. and probabaly rarely come out to mo val... so if you really want to be friends Then show it ok.. cus i cant handle just being friends inside school.. theres a outside world!!!!!!!!!So long and good night.. im not your scapegoat...
today i went to school at 11 because i was tired... then i left a hour early so i can turn in my cal grant thing.. then i got mary and sam was already with us.. so we went and got juice it up.. we wnet and got david and had a exciting time at carls jr and circuit city.. We went to her house and watched ell enchanted and some chuckie.. then sam had to leave so i took her home and here i am!!!So long and goodnight

Monday, January 3rd, 2005

Subject:what a plague
Time:7:31 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
do i really have anything to say to you people.. none of you talk to me outside of school.. except for kyle... and he doesnt even go to canyon.... so you tell me do i have anything to say to you?
my new years resolution is to not take anymore of your disaster.... i have no reason to keep up with you or be involved with your life.. if your selfish your selfish you dont have to tell people because they already probably know... if you like someone then tell them you like them... stop pissing and moaning about how your life sucks when you can go out and you can drink and drive around and be with friends alot.. so shut the fuck up.. let see is there anything else i need to say to you people.. i dont know
Im 18 i can do without it... ill be driving soon so i wont be here to listen to those people.... maybe one day youll figure out that life isnt all about you... ill be able to drive my friends around we can go anywhere drink aything do whatever while your stuck at your local bands of moreno valley shows in the backyard of some rich kid who likes to show off his stuff and well be out having a good time saying fuck you to the world and to you...
Do you guys get it yet?

Thursday, November 25th, 2004

Time:1:24 am.
hey everyone.. i hate thanksgiving.. it sucks.. its drama. im going to miss my grandpa not being there... may he still be resting in peace.... and i guess merry feast of fat you fuckers. oh i got you good..
[2]fuck | ...you

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